Title: Snakes on a Plane
Genre: Action/Horror/Thriller
U.S. Theatrical Release Date: August 18, 2006
Tagline: "Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the fright."
Sure, it's an unconventional way to begin a movie review, by using 'emoticons'. But this is an unconventional film. The Internet fueled hype surrounding
'Pacific Air Flight 121' (working title) has touched down at a multi-plex near you, with the best release title so far this year.
What's the story about? O.K. genius, here goes.
After witnessing the brutal execution of a Government prosecutor in Hawaii which was committed by crimelord Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson ~
'Romeo Must Die'), motorcycle riding surfboard dude Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips ~
'Wolf Creek') becomes a marked man, due to be 'whacked' by Kim's henchmen.
In the nick of time 'surfer dude' is saved by FBI agent Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson ~
'Shaft', 'Unbreakable') and is placed into protective custody. Jones is persuaded (or coerced) into testifying against Kim.
Agent Flynn along with his partner Agent John Saunders (Mark Houghton ~
'New BSG', 'SG-1') are assigned to escort their witness from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify for the prosecution in the high profile case.
Agents Flynn and Saunders commandeer the first-class section of the mainland bound flight in order to protect their witness, as all of the rest of the ticketed passengers are reassigned to 'coach' seating status.
Mobster boss Kim has arranged for certain cargo to be placed onto the California bound flight. A time-delay release crate, which will open before the plane's 'point-of-no-return' and liberate almost 500 deadly snakes on-board, in the hope of either killing the witness or bringing down the entire plane. The venomous snakes have been enraged by 'pheromones' which coincidentally were infused into, and pervade the Hawaiian 'leis' that most of the passengers are wearing upon their departure from the 'Big Island'.
It does not take long after their dispensation that the snakes are literally everywhere inside the plane.
In the aisles, in the lavatory (Mile-high clubbers beware!), in the overhead storage, in the oxygen masks, in the barf bags, in the cockpit and in the beverage cart (oh God, no,
not the beverage cart)!
And the serpents. All varieties. Each one big or little. All hissing, coiling, rattling, slithering, biting, spitting or squeezing someone or something as we watch dozens of people jump, yell, scream, flinch, jerk, foam, convulse, bleed and die.
The movie does not pretend to be something it is not intended to be. It is an audience participation, yell-at-the-screen, popcorn-munching, summertime 'thrill-fest', and director David R. Ellis succeeds precisely.
The ensemble cast is huge, causing the viewer to ask oneself "Who is that guy? Where have I seen her before? What was that person in?".
There's intrepid and determined flight attendant Claire (Julianna Marguiles ~
TV's 'Scrubs', TV's 'The Sopranos') and an hilarious and heroic Troy (Kenan Thompson ~
'Saturday Night Live') taking his spin as a bodyguard to self absorbed rap artist 'Three G's' (Flex Alexander ~
'She's All That'), who in turn is trying to score with lovely young socialite Mercedes (Rachel Blanchard) while trying to avoid physical contact with everyone, including her 'carry-on' dog, Mary-Kate. (Don't ask about what happens to the puppy). That just names a few of the colorful characters involved in this story.
Even with the good supporting cast, this film is all about Jackson. Spouting such lines of dialog as "You know all those Goddamn security scenarios we ran, well...", "Sporks!?" and the soon to be infamous "Enough is enough! I've had it with these muthaf****n' snakes on this muthaf****n' plane!" No one throws an expletive on screen with such savior faire as the man. Even while 'broke-bottle stabbing, safety axe chopping, fire extinguishing and stun-gunning' his way through a cabin full of deadly serpents on the way to completing his characters' mission. And all the time looking-good in a smooth, black leather jacket.
Rating: A strong 3 1/2 'Snakes on Crack' out of 5
Just bad enough a film to be really good, but not really good enough to be awesome. Sure, the whole thing is preposterous, but, if your willing to have a raucous, sit in the dark, squirm in your seat in an 'air-conditioned' auditorium good time but don't want to go by yourself... call me. I'll buy a ticket along with you and board this flight again.
TITLE: 'Snakes on a Plane' (2006) ~ STUDIO: New Line Cinema ~ MPAA RATING: *R* for Language, a Scene of Sexuality and Drug Use and Intense Sequences of Terror and Violence ~ RUNNING TIME: 105 Minutes ~ CAST: Samuel L. Jackson, Kenan Thompson, Julianna Marguiles, Rachel Blanchard, Flex Alexander ~ DIRECTED BY: David R. Ellis
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by all of the stupidity, etc. etc. etc. that I just couldn't take it. Wait for the DVD to come out so you can make all the noise you want and bash on it with your friends!!!