Okay! Let's get everybody up to speed and on the same page here. In the middle of the series' second season, the cable networks
Comedy Channel and
Ha! merged to become one
Comedy Central. MST3K has developed a moderate, but faithful fan base. Realizing this, Comedy Central wanted to lock in what appeared to be a sure bet and presented the gang at
Best Brains, Inc. an unprecedented offer. They proposed a 'Three 24-episode season' contract, and the group at BBI eagerly agreed and signed on. The troupe will proceed to crank out episode after episode in what will become one of the most productive and creative periods in BBI's history.
It is at this point in 1991 that I actually experienced the show for the first time, and I would like to thank (and alternately curse) a long time friend and traveling companion (I'll just refer to him as Mr. Ott) for turning me on to a series that will and has become an obsession for me.
So, let's set out on our first 24 episode journey and begin
Season Three!
Let the experiment begin!
"Turn Down Your Lights (Where applicable)"
Experiment #301 ~ CAVE DWELLERS (1984)
Original Air Date: June 1, 1991
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
Studio: Metaxa Corporation. (Released in the U.S. by Film Ventures International, New Line Cinema and Royal Film Traders).
Starring: Miles O'Keeffe, Lisa Foster, Charles Borromel, Chen Wong, David Cain Haughton.
Directed By: Joe D'Amato (a.k.a.: David Hills).
Theatrical Running Time: 92 Minutes.
Tagline: "A Pure Action Fantasy Where Good, Strength and Exotic Beauty Battle Evil."
Film Synopsis: An absurd sequel to
Ator, the Fighting Eagle, Ator (
Miles O'Keeffe), his Asian sidekick Thong (
Chen Wong) and an alchemist's daughter (
Lisa Foster) set out on a quest to protect the Earth from a primitive atomic bomb called the "Geometric Nucleus". Along the way, in a time of 'swords and sorcery', Ator finds time to invent the "Hang-Glider" and "Hand-Grenades". Mind numbing and ridiculous.
Intro: Joel welcomes the viewers back and poses a question to the Bots. "If you had your "druthers", what would your favorite new name be?"
Gypsy: "Stockard Channing."
Crow: "My name... Jose Jimenez."
Magic Voice: "I've always liked the name...Magic Voice."
Tom: "Personally, I've always been partial to...Sugar Magnolia."
Joel: "...and from now on I'll be known as Chuck Woolery. We'll be back in two minutes and two seconds!".
Invention Exchange: Dr. F. and Frank have Deep 13 decorated like the set of "The Mike Douglas Show". Frank would like to sing "The Man in my Little Girl's Life", but the notion is squashed immediately. Joel presents "The Smoking Jacket", a silk-looking robe that has smoke wafting from it. Dr. F. and Frank present "the latest craze, Robotic Arm Wrestling".
Host Segments:
Host 1: Joel and the Bots (with the help of Cambot) re-create the 'blurry, slow motion opening credits sequence', which now reads as follows: "Crow" as Ator. "Joel Robinson" as that Mean John Saxon-Type Guy. "Tom Servo" as the Really Dull Old Guy". "Winona Ryder" as Roxy Carmichael, "Andrew McCarthy" as Himself, "Kim Catrall" as The Mannequin. (May also star one of the following) "Brian Dennehy", "M. Emmet Walsh", or "Charles Durning". Music by: "Danny Elfman" - again!. Continuity by... . Asst. to Mr. O'Keeffe: "Todd St.Martin". Body Grease by "Goodboy of Beverly Hills". Very special thanks to "Leathers by Tyson", "Bianca's G-Strings".
Host 2: Joel and the Bots realize that one way to "punch-up" a film with a low budget, (especially in regards to props), is to have the film's writers give ordinary things, extraordinary names!. For example..."a breastplate" (which is just a hubcap from a Plymouth Somerset), is referred to as "The Maiden Armored Breastshield of 'Bali 7'!", etc... . Very clever bit.
Host 3: Joel gives a presentation about the way sound effects are produced for movies, also known as "foley". For example, "bangin' two halves of a coconut together" creates the sound of a horses' hooves. Or, bird-shot on a drum skin sounds like the roar of the ocean. Or, hamsters in a box, represents a buffalo stampede. Water buffalo?... just add milk! (The ASPCA would not be amused). Funny, educational and entertaining. A great host segment.
End: Joel and the Bots vent their anger to the Mads about this movie. Crow elucidates (shows them) the films' continuity problems. The Mads are pleased at the results of the experiment. Frank gloats incessantly 'til Dr. F. finally makes him "push the button.".
Stinger: "Thong! The fish is ready!"
Items of Note:
~ The movie was made in Italy and released under the title "Ator l'invincibile 2".
~ Joel is up out of his seat a lot in this experiment, doing physical sight gags on the screen. (All in silhouette, of course).
~ The scenes used in the opening credits are from another film, completely unrelated to the actual movie.
~ One of the 'Mole People' is refereeing the "robotic arm wrestling" contest. This is the last time that Gerry or Sylvia will be seen in the services of 'Deep 13' and the series.
~ The film was released in the U.S. under the title "The Blade Master".
Personal Notes:
~ A quantum leap. The series will go to an entirely new level of comedy from this point forward,
~ Chuck Woolery was the host of the game show "Wheel of Fortune" from 1975 to 1981.
~ 'Keeffe' used to be a slang term for marijuana.
~ Miles O'Keeffe found his big Hollywood break starring opposite Bo Derek in "Tarzan, the Ape Man" (1981).
~ Barney Clark was the first person to receive a permanent, implanted artificial heart. That was back in 1981 and he lived 112 days!
The 'Riffs':
~ (
Joel)_ "How much 'keeffe' is in this movie anyway?". (
Tom) "Miles o' keeffe!".
~ (
Crow) "You know, you could eat off the floor of this cave. In fact, they're doing it right now!".
~ (
Crow) "Geez! Tolkein couldn't follow this plot!".
~ (
Tom) "Hey, He's washing with lava!". (
Joel) "The soap?". (
Tom) "No. The real thing!".
~ (
Joel) "She's making flash-powder from her own filth!".
~ (as a 'Cave Dweller' is eating a human heart) (
Tom) "I want a Barney Clark bar!".
Top-shelf, 'A' number one stuff. An excellent presentation, with the absurdity of the film and the trio bringing their best game to the table. With pop culture references ranging from 'Mark David Chapman', 'Marshall Crenshaw' and 'The Mothers of Invention', to 'The Gong Show', 'Marmaduke' and 'Love, American Style', this is one of my all time favorite episodes, and a great start to a brand new season. Non-stop riffing hilarity and a must see for the uninitiated. This is what the show is all about.
Rating: 5 "Rippling Pecs" out of 5!
"Keep Trading the Discs (and Tapes)"
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