Okay, kids! We're officially one-third of the way through the series' first 24 episode season, and the staff and crew at 'BBI' are moving full speed ahead!
Let the experiment begin!
"Turn Down Your Lights (Where applicable)"
Experiment #309 ~ THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (1957)
Original Air Date: August 3, 1991
Genre: Sci-Fi
Studio: American International Pictures
Starring: Glen Langan, Cathy Downs, William Hudson, Larry Thor, Russ Bender
Directed By: Bert I. Gordon
Theatrical Running Time: 80 Minutes
Tagline: "Growing...! Growing...! Growing...! To a GIANT...! To a MONSTER...! WHEN WILL IT STOP?"
Film Synopsis: During military testing of a new plutonium bomb, Army Col. Glen Manning is inadvertantly exposed to the full effect of the blast. His body begins to gradually grow and grow to enormous proportions. This in turn creates self-evident mental anguish in Glen, his fiancee Carol, as well as logistic and morality issues for the U. S. Army.
Intro: Joel insists that Tom and Crow get their chores done (such as cleaning the 'Load-Pan Bay') before commercial sign, or "there's really gonna be trouble!". The Bots are hiding out in their Super-Secret-Chocolate-Fudgy Batcave (It's a cardboard box 'fort'). The Bots vehemently resist, stating that in their 'Manifesto', "No be-jumpsuited 'Hu-Man's' are allowed on the premises!" The creator (Joel) is displeased and emphasizes that if they "don't get out here right now, their little metal hinder's are in for some real...trouble!"
Invention Exchange: "Everyone knows thats plants love music", so Dr. F. and Frank present a plant (Kevin Murphy) that provides classical music reviews (like
"Beethoven's Waldstein Sonata No. 21, Opus 53"). Joel presents the Non-Permanent tattoo, a heart-shaped 'Magic Board' (you know, the board you write on then lift the cover sheet to erase what's been written?! Remember those?!).
Host Segments:
Host 1: Joel attempts to teach the Bots a really important lesson from today's film. "What are some nice things we could say to Glen's fiancee"? After Tom and Crow make some insensitive comments about Glen, the comments deteriorate into the Bots showing Joel how much they love him by describing how "You're stranded in space, you'll never see your family again and when the satellite's orbit decays, you'll be burnt to a crisp! That's right. We're sensitive to the situation you're in! Your hair only looks like that because there's no barber on the ship! And even though your feet smell like cheese, we prefer to think of it as
good cheese!"
Host 2: Joel is a 50 foot tall man and the Bots are the doctors trying to help him. (
Tom): "How do you feel"? (
Joel): "What do you mean, 'how do I feel'? I'm HUGE! I'm a 50 foot man! Aah! No!" (
Tom): (in a whisper) "Ask him another question". (
Crow): "Who's your favorite 'Monkee'"? "Did Cher have any ribs removed"?
Host 3: Joel and the Bots muse about how big Glen is going to get. What questions would you ask 'The Amazing Colossal Man' if you happened to meet him? Suddenly, the 'SOL' has a collison with an object in space. It's Glen! (Mike Nelson). (
Mike/Glen): "You know, I really thought that part in "Time Bandits" was gonna kick it loose for me..."
End: Joel reads a fan letter. Frank gets injected with the giant hypodermic needle.
Stinger: Glen laughs 'til it hurts.
Items of Note:
~ How does Servo get his arms to work in Host 2?
~ A whole bunch of rabbit jokes during the lab scene.
~ During Host 3, Joel is holding the Barbie doll prop from Host 2!
Personal Notes:
~ Maybe the first use of the recurring riff "Get your shoes on, we're at Grandma's"!
~ The Host 2 segment is just
outrageous! Side-splittingly funny!
~ Mike Nelson is
GREAT as Glen in Host 3! Hilarious!
The 'Riffs':
~ (
Tom): "Hey, 'American International' House of Pancakes"!
~ (
Tom): "THE...", "AMAZING"..., "COLOSSAL"..., (
Joel): "Gob-stopper"?! (
Crow): "Kreskin"?!
~ (
Glen's fiancee): "We met in the funniest way..." . (
Crow): "Playin' 'chicken' with trains"!
~ (
Tom): "Next, on 'Insensitive Hospital'..."!
~ (
Tom): "What, the government's involved in a 'cover-up'? How could THAT be"?!
~ (
Joel): "Oh, my goodness! I'm growing so fast I'm giving myself a
wedgie"!
~ Pop culture references ranging from 'The Boy in the Plastic Bubble', Board game "OPERATION" and 'Nat King Cole' to 'Clifford, the Big Red Dog', 'The Patty Duke show' and many others too numerous to mention. The riffs come non-stop and on top of that, the movie itself is actually kind of thought-provoking, though the science is dubious at best. Worthy enough to have spawned a sequel "War of the Colossal Beast"
('Experiment #319).
Rating: 5 "Swift" brand meat delivery trucks out of 5.
"Keep Trading the Discs (and Tapes)"
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