Let the experiment begin!
"Turn Down Your Lights (Where Applicable)"Experiment #319 ~ WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (1958)
with short ~ Mr. B. Natural (1957)
Original Air Date: November 30, 1991
Studio: American International Pictures
Starring: Sally Fraser, Roger Pace, Dean Parkin,
Directed By: Bert I. Gordon
Theatrical Running Time: 68 Minutes
Tagline: "THE TOWERING TERROR FROM HELL!"
... but FIRST! ...Short:
Title: Mr. B. Natural
Genre: Musical/Educational/Short Subject
Studio: Kling Film Enterprises
Starring: Betty Luster, Bruce Podewell
Directed By: Phil Patton
Theatrical Running Time: 29 Minutes
Tagline: N/AShorts Synopsis:
Mr. B. Natural, the "spirit of music", tries to help shy young Buzz Turner fit in with his school peers by awakening the spirit of music in him, which resides in all of us.
... and now ... OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION!Film Synopsis:
After the events featured in the film "The Amazing Colossal Man" ('Experiment #309')
, the tragically mutated, 60 foot tall giant Col. Glenn Manning, resurfaces in Guavos, Mexico. He is eventually captured by the U.S. military and returned to Los Angeles, California, U.S.A. to further undergo a series of tests in an attempt to return him to his normal size and condition. More havoc ensues, culminating with a climax at Griffith Park Observatory.Intro:
Joel and the Bots have decided to take the prefixes, root words and suffixes of Mex/American food, find some new food types, mix them up, and do what Madison Avenue does..., "Find a whole new way to love the same old crap!" For example...
~ The 'Spicy Peachy Battered Chonga' or the...
~ 'Chickeny Gatorade-arito', and the ...
~ 'Bel-Grande Cheesy Beefy Blue Steak Taco', or the...
~ 'Bel Rocco Poco Loco Roccoco Taco!', and the 'Beefy Peanut Buster Bel Grande!'.Invention Exchange:
Joel continues on with his "new Tex-Mex food monikers" with the 'Pat Morita Fajita', 'Maria Conchita Alonzarito', 'Emperor Hirohito-rito' and the 'Curly Joe Dorito'. Oh, and the 'Ed Herlihy-ito Dorito!'. (Tom
): "Made with fine Kraft Jet-Puffed miniature marshmallows."
): "Joel, why do
Americans rename Mexican food dishes?"
): "Oh, it's just part of the American way, turning a neighboring country rich in culture and beauty into a goofy appetizer."
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So... for family members who won't come in for breakfast, you bring breakfast to them. The Mads present the "Breakfast Bazooka" ("This delicious breakfast has a flat trajectory and muzzle velocity of 2,400 feet per second. It's all part of this nutrtious war!"). Joel and the Bots offer the "Between Meal Mortar" ("Our hurried youth of today. They sometimes forget to stuff their faces with toxic, chemically-laced, life-shortening sugar snacks"). The Mortar fires ammunition like 'Twinkies', 'Ho-Ho's' and 'Sno-Balls'.Host Segments:Host 1:
The great debate. "Mr. B. Natural: Man or Woman!?" (The world may never know).Host 2:
The 'SOL' gets a visit from Col. Glenn Manning (just when Joel and the Bots are singing the "Big Head" song! See 'Experiment #318' and 'Experiment #309'
). A very uncomfortable moment.Host 3:
KTLA presents your future.End:
Joel and the Bots are drowsy from the movie (or is it from the drug laced loaves of bread that they are nibbling on, just like in today's experiment). Joel reads a fan letter. Glenn reads a fan letter. Dr. F. uses the Breakfast Bazooka to shoot Frank, (after giving him a running head start), with some thorazine waffles then pushes the button.Stinger:
Mr. B., prancing and flitting about.Items of Note:
~ Although this film was shot in 'black and white', the final climactic minute of the film is shot in vibrant, glorious color!Personal Notes:
~ 'Host 1' is absolutely hilarious. The debate between Tom Servo and Crow is a classic piece of MST writing.
~ Mike Nelson is great as Col. Manning in 'Host 2', and the 'End' segment.
~ The 'Short' is probably one of the most recognizable and fan favorites that was ever broadcast. If you've ever seen this bizzarre and unnerving short, you'll never forget it.
~ Joel's "KTLA" rambling statements at the end of 'Host 3' refer to "Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap", a product which may still be available at your local drug store, noteable for it's suppossed many thereaputic uses. The 'Riffs':
): "They say 'you never hear the snack with your name on it'!"
): "Oh, Mr. Natural! I remember him from "ZAP" comics!"
): "Mr. B., you're HOT!" (In my opinion, I think that's just WRONG!)
~ (Mr. B.
): "Look boy, do you think this is just a trumpet!?" (Joel
): "No, it's a BONG!"
~ (Mr. B.
): "You gotta inspect your horn, boy!" (Crow
): "And wash it every day!"
): "Look, Glenn passed a truck on the highway. No! I mean he PASSED a truck on the highway! Well, it's bound to change color after it's passed through his system!"
~ (Dr. Carmichael
): "If his brain tissue has suffered any damage, he'll remain a psychopath and a menace until he dies." (Crow
):"Like... Jerry Lewis!?"
): "My nurse fell down his throat!"
): "Hey, check out this blackhead! It's as big as an Anjou pear!"
~ Pop culture references ranging from William Shatner, Ralph Maccio, movies 'Foul Play' and 'King Kong' to Dom DeLuise, the Hard Rock Cafe, Wile E. Coyote, Rolling Rock beer and the movie, 'Roadhouse'. A brilliant riff session, although the 'Short', (which will completely change one's idea of what 'totally strange' is, and will change your perception forever), really overshadows the main event. An outstanding offering.Rating:
5 "Truckloads filled with loaves of bread baked with a tunnel of drugs" out of 5.
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