Let the experiment begin!

"Turn Down Your Lights (Where applicable)"

Experiment #404 ~ TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)

Original Air Date: June 27, 1992

Genre: SciFi/Horror

Studio: Topaz Film Corporation (Distrbuted by Warner Brothers Corporation)

Starring: David Love, Dawn Anderson, Bryan Grant, Harvey B. Dunn, Tom Lockyear

Directed By: Tom Graeff

Theatrical Running Time: 86 Minutes

Tagline: "THRILL-CRAZED SPACE KIDS BLASTING THE FLESH OFF HUMANS!"

Film Synopsis: A small team of extraterrestrial spacemen arrive on Earth in their saucer-shaped spacecraft. They have been searching the galaxy for a planet suitable to raise their herd of "gargons", a lobster-like (but air-breathing) creature which is a food staple on their homeworld. One of the aliens, young Derek, voices his fear that as the gargon increase in size, (due to the chemical benefits of Earth's atmosphere), that they may destroy Earth's inhabitants. Meeting resistance from the rest of the team Derek flees into the local small town. Another member of the team, the sadistic Thor, is sent to retrieve Derek with orders to kill if necessary to protect the alien mission. The remainder of the alien team return to their homeworld to lead a fleet of ships, carrying the herd of gargons to their newfound grazing area. Problem is, Thor likes killing the inferior humans with a "focusing disintegrator ray" a little too much. Can Derek with the help of Betty, Grandpa and Joe, his newfound human friends evade Thor and still stop the arrival of the gargon-carrying alien transports!?

Intro: Joel is adminstering a little behavior modification to the Bots.
~ (Joel): "Okay,,, what is it?"
~ (Bots): "It's the 'NBC Mystery Movie'."
Joel delivers a mild electric shock to both Bots.
~ (Crow): ''Thank you, sir. May I have another."
~ (Joel): "Sure!"
Joel gives another shock to the pair.
~ (Joel): "Ya, see. Every experiment we do if you've been watching, these two little robots always say...
~ (Bots): "NBC Mystery Movie."
~ (Joel): "...when they see a flashlight in the film, and every time they say..."
~ (Bots): "NBC Mystery Movie."
~ (Joel): "...they get a mild but memorable electric shock."
Joel delivers the pair two more jolts.
~ (Tom): ''Hey! What was that last one for!?"
~ (Joel): "Well, the last one was, well, you know, you did it the first time and then you did it a second time."
~ (Crow): ''Oh, okay. Go ahead."
~ (Tom): ''Wait! Wait! Did what? Did what!?"
~ (Joel): "Said 'NBC Mystery... Movie. Ohhh!"
Joel takes the skullcap from Crow, places it on his own head, and delivers a shock to himself (as well as Servo).
~ (Joel): >smack smack< "I taste copper. Okay. Let's get working on the 'Snoop Sisters'."

Invention Exchange: The Bots (along with help from Joel) present...
~ (Tom): ''As everybody knows the olfactory or sense of smell, is our greatest memory enhancer. So now, we have created the world's first 'Scratch-and-Sniff Report Cards'."
~ (Crow): ''Exactly. So, one scratch and one smell and parents are transported back to those painful days of junior high. The scratch-and-sniff report card kinda takes the edge off getting a bad grade."
~ (Joel): "Lemme see. Say, it's true... it smells like a habitrail. Pungent!"
~ (Crow): ''Exactly. You're in biology class, silly! Try the next one."
~ (Joel): "Ewww! It smells like burning acetate and old Dutch cheese curls!"
~ (Tom): ''It's extra-curricular activities, and you're an 'A.V. geek', mister!
~ (Joel): "Well, this next one seems simple enough. What could really happen? >sniff< AUGGHHH!!! It smells like the stuff they put on throw-up!"
~ (Crow): ''Very observent, Joel. Turns out that Lisa Smithback is allergic to pink coconut frosting. Hence the vomit!"
~ (Joel): "This one you're holding down here smells really good!"
~ (Crow): ''This is a special report card that my partner Tom and I developed for expensive private academies because, Joel ... privilege has it's own odor."

~ (TV's Frank): "JOEL! Grades aren't important! It's the SAT's that count. The good doctor and I would like to make a prediction about the next big trend in entertainment. Move over comedy clubs. Move over trendy discussion salons. Move over karaoke bars. Here comes Ventriloquism! BIG, BROAD, SASSY and BRASSY! And now, Deep 13, in association with George Schlatter Productions would like to present the ventriloquistic stylings of Dr. Clayton Forrester and his lovable sidekick... Resusci-Annie."
~ (Dr. F.): "Hello. This is Resusci-Annie. We've secured over 2000 of these previously owned CPR demonstration dolls and retro-fitted them with ventriloquist animations in anticipation of the ventriloquist boom of the '90's. And without further adieu it's time to sit back and laugh and learn with... Resusci-Annie. Say hello to the nice folks, Resusci."
~ (Annie): "Hello, nice folks."
~ (Dr. F.): "Resusci, I implore you to be kind and courteous to these well-meaning and clean people here today."
~ (Annie): "I'm gonna go find some chicks!"
~ (Dr. F.): "But, Resusci... you is a chick! I said... Resusci, you is a chick. Uh, oh! Frank, something's wrong... this looks like the big one! I'll revive Resusci and tell Joel about the movie. You dial 911 while drinking a glass of water."
~ (TV's Frank): >glub, glub, glub<
~ (Dr. F.): "(breathe-two-three-four)... Hmmm!? That's an odd taste..."

Host Segments:

Host 1: Joel and the Bots deliver the 'Reel to Real' sketch (complete with illustrations).
~ (Crow): ''Ya know, Joel... that old grandpa guy was way too nice when he rented that room to the teenager from outer space. A real life landlord would never be like that."
~ (Tom): ''Why, yes! Things that happen in the movies are different from the way they happen in real life."
~ (Joel): "Right, Tom. So, here from our 'look on the lighter side' department, we'd like to introduce a new segment called 'Reel to Real'. Move aside you guys. You see, "In reel life..."
~ (Tom): ''You're offered free room and board, until you can get a job and pay back your rent."
~ (Joel): "In real life..."
~ (Crow): ''If your late with your rent, your room gets padlocked and you end up living in a refrigerator box."
~ (Joel): "In reel life..."
~ (Tom): ''Your roommate is a beautiful young woman who fills your life with afternoon swims, moonlit drives and the promise of romance."
~ (Joel): "In real life..."
~ (Crow): ''Your roommate is a stinky high school dropout who fills your life with head lice, crusty laundry and furry cans of 'Spaghetti-O's'."
~ (Joel): "In reel life..."
~ (Tom): ''Your landlord is a rosy-cheeked, cheerful old man."
~ (Joel): "In real life..."
~ (Crow): ''Your landlord is a butane addict who sneaks into your apartment and looks through your underwear drawer."
~ (Joel): "In reel life..."
~ (Tom): ''There's a big, fat drunk guy sleeping on your couch."
~ (Joel): "In real life..."
~ (Crow): ''There's a big, fat drunk guy sleeping on your couch."
~ (Joel): "Ha, ha, ha. These are just a few of the differences in 'reel' life, and 'real' life. Stay with us on our 'look on the lighter side' department for some of those everyday befuddlements that come at us in such a humorous way. Like dieting! I just look at a piece of bread and I gain five pounds. Look at Crow here. He can eat ten banana splits and not gain an ounce! I hate him! And Mondays! What are you gonna do? Don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee in the morning..."
~ (Tom): ''I can't stand him when he's like this."
~ (Joel): "...and what about starting the car? Have you thought about it? My hip hurts! Why...?!"

Host 2: Joel and the Bots present a pre-movie 'No Littering' trailer.
~ (Joel): "Alright you guys, the waste receptacle is in position. Are you ready!? I'm about to jettison the snacks into space!"
On the Hexfield ViewScreen we see typical theater trash (popcorn boxes, soft drink cups, half-eaten hot dogs, candy wrappers, etc...) floating towards a theater lobby style trash-can floating in space. Joel and the Bots break out into a frenetic musical ditty. After the trash has been deposited...
~ (Crow): "There is No Smoking in this auditorium. Now we invite you to enjoy 'Our Feature Presentation'."

Host 3: Joel and the Bots are just wasting time away on the bridge of the SOL, when suddenly...
~ (Crow): "Hey, guys! There's a ship coming into view!
~ (Tom): ''Aw, Crow! You're plumb loco. It's probably just some big Gummy bear from before.."
~ (Crow): ''No! No! No! It's a Skull Cruiser! It's black and demonic and it spreads darkness and death, and..."
~ (Tom): ''Crow. You are sooo high! Gummy bears don't spread darkness and death..., do they?"
~ (Crow): ''And it's piloted by a ghostly figure with ghostly intent. You guys gotta see this!"
~ (Joel): "I think you're just seeing one of those packs of 'Jordan Almonds' that we shot out of..."
Something rocks the SOL violently
~ (Joel): "Cambot! Give me Rocket Number Nine, quick!"
A totally bitchin' Skull Cruiser' pulls up beside the SOL and does an awesome burnout!
~ (J&TB): "BOSS"!
The Skull Cruiser pulls alongside the SOL again, and does another burnout.
~ (J&TB): "Hooker Headers and Thrush pipes! Woofers and Tweeters and Bears. Oh, my!"
Skull Cruiser ship does a third burnout.
~ (Joel): "Hey, guys. Check out the Hexfield ViewScreen".
The screen opens.
~ (Joel):"I think he's trying to tell us something".
A skeleton appears on the screen, motions feebly, and collapses to the floor in a pile of bones. The screen closes.
~ (Tom): ''Oh, man! Was that LAME! BOOO! Do over!"
~ (Joel): "Seems like kind of a gyp!"
~ (Tom): ''That wasn't COOL! That was the dumbest visitor EVER!"

End: Inspired by the jumpsuited, duct-taped outer space fashions in today's experiment, Joel and the Bots present their fall fashion lineup.
~ (Tom): ''Inspired by the practical frivolity of a 'Donna Karan', here's Joel cavorting in a peppy jumper, accented with a red duct-tape piping."
~ (Crow): ''Oui, Oui, Monsuier! But wait! Isn't that gad-about, gadfly Tom Servo in my calf-length tunic with opaque legging, striped with a teasing speck of bright, but serious perma-seal gaffers tape!"
~ (Joel): "Well now, I wanted to see Crow in something a little Co-Ed that absolutely screams 'Fall!' And by-golly, didn't I get it. Coverall meets polo in this tape striped rugger jersey. With a khaki pant, and a touch of merry old England. Eh, wot!"
~ (Tom): ''And just in time for the cruise season. And our little cruiser sports my sassy nautical theme in a navy coverall with with white gaffer piping. It's gusseted for an easy feel, and guess what!? Bell-bottoms are back and just in time!"
~ (Crow): ''Well, from ship-to-shore Tommy. How many times has this happened to you? 'Dinner, Mr. President!? Tonight!?' Why, sure! Now what do you do? My personal black cotton broadcloth with shiny gloss duct-tape lapels and accents, comes to the rescue. From chaos to Kenebunkport in minutes!"
Joel reads a couple of fan letters. Dr. F. is entertaining Ressuci-Annie to a nice evening out, with TV's Frank as wait-staff.
~ (Dr. F.): "Pour the wine, and 'push the button', Louie."
~ (TV's Frank): {whispering to the SOL} "Help me!"
~ (Dr. F.): "Sooo..., Have I told you I have a man up in space? No, reall!y! I have a man up in space..."

Stinger: "TORCHAA!"

Items of Note:
~ Tom Lockyear in the credits is actually the director Tom Graeff.
~ My VHS copy of this episode is the first one I have where the "Turn Down Your Lights (Where apllicable)" message at the start of the show has been replaced by a title card featuring a still from the movie, some broadcast information text, and a voice-over stating "Mystery Science Theater 3000, Show Number {here}; Reel 1".
~ The text for this card reads... reel #1, D-2 broadcast master, mixed audio both channels, longitudinal time code-29.97DF, 3/24/92, NTSC, Dolby-C NR.
~ The musical score for the film was taken from stock, and was used in Night of the Living Dead.
~ The score will also be recycled in 'Experiment #407 ~ THE KILLER SHREWS' and 'Experiment # 619 ~ RED ZONE CUBA'.

Personal Notes:
~ Host 2 has left me puzzled. General Cinema Corporation used to show a variety of pre-movie trailers promoting a no littering policy in it's theaters, as most movie houses did and still do today. The tune that Joel and the Bots deliver doesn't trigger anything from my theater attending or employment memories. It's vaguely familiar. I get it..., but I don't get it.
~ A nice callback from Joel referring to a "hamburger sammich and some french-fried potatoes!" (JUNGLE GODDESS ~ 'Experiment #203).
~ Some of the characters seem to have songs stuck in their heads. Most notably Grandpa, who keeps singing the theme from the TV show "New Zoo Revue"!

The 'Riffs':
~ (Crow): ''Wow, really old teenagers from outer space!"
~ (Tom): ''They're all wearing V-necks. Must be 'student council' from outer space!"
~ (Teenage Outer Space Captain): "When we return to our planet, the High Court may well sentence you to TORTURE!" ~ (J&TB): "TORCHAA!!!"
~ (Teenage Outer Space Captain): "We are the supreme race! We have the supreme weapons!" ~ (Tom): ''We have the Supreme Pizzas!"
~ (Crow): ''Look at that stupid jumpsuit, with a belt at the waist!" (looks at Joel) "Oh, but yours is nice!"
~ (Tom): ''Jim Henson's Baretta babies!"
~ (Betty): "This couldn't be Sparky." ~ (Crow): ''Sparky had skin!"
~ (Joel): {musically}"I have often walked down this street before. But, I've never done it packin' heat before!" (a nice tip-o-the hat to My Fair Lady)
~ (Joel): "Looks like your poppers come up. Oh, that's your nipple!"

~ With pop culture references ranging from Get Christy Love, Erma Bombeck, Won-Ton-Ton the Dog Who Saved Hollywood, 'V' television series and Mort Sahl to Keds shoes, Terminator, The Grapes of Wrath, Citizen Kane, Ray Liotta and Jolly Rancher Fire Stix candy, the 'riffs' fly non stop and if not for the relative weakness of the host segments, this experiment a real gem. The gang's treatment of the feature is a lot better than I remember on initial viewing. Worth a revisit.

Rating: 4 "dime-store Hubley Atomic Disintegrator toy guns" out of 5.

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